Civics, Unplugged: Participation Without the Partisan Static
If someone were to approach me and say: "Tell me everything you know about Civics", I would immediately start to to regale them with many minutes of praise for one of Honda's most efficient and reliable class of vehicles.
After they finished blinking slowly at my response, they'd politely course-correct and clarify "Sorry, I meant, what about Civics - as in the topic? The subject you had in high school, maybe? Like the one all about being a good citizen?"
I'd be unfazed mostly - because Honda Civics are tremendous vehicles for their value and I am not afraid to say so - but for sure, a touch embarrassed. Not because I mistook the question, though, but because I would have extraordinarily little to say in reply. In fact, my response would have to be "I think it was an elective at my school -- which meant, I didn't take it."
I mean, don't get me wrong, I understand the essence of Civics. But, not until I sat down to a record an episode of our podcast, The XYZ, in which we were joined by Patti Keckeisen from the National Parent Leadership Institute, did I really connect all the dots.
The major a-ha? Civics ≠ Politics. That's a fancy math symbol for 'they are not the same.'
And unlike politics or government systems, the pair of topics to which it is commonly attached, civics isn't complicated. Simply defined: civics is any way you participate in shaping the world around you." That's it. Hard stop.
So, then why do I grimace or inhale sharply whenever I hear or read the phrase 'civic engagement'?
Halfway through our chat with Patti, I answered that very question. I am weary of all things Civics because I have conflated it with its well-meaning, but problematic cousin, Politics. And because we currently live amidst constant toxic political discourse and a fundamentally broken political system, I wanted to step back from engaging in that space. What is now clear to me, though, is that disengagement from politics doesn’t have to mean disengagement from shaping the world around me. Should that have been self-evident? Probably. What can I say? When I decided to plead the 5th politically (as much as I could, in good conscience), I also sort of excused myself from my own civic duties. I threw the proverbial clean baby out with the dirty bath water.
The bad news is that - yes - we've got big time macro issues. It feels as if we are walking upon the fractured shrapnel of democracy these days, and the global challenges we are facing are mighty and many and multiplying by the minute. Not to mention, we all seem to hate each other so much that we can't sit together in the same room long enough to brainstorm potential solutions to any of these issues. BUT...
The good news - especially when we can't look one another in the eye, forget even trying a group project - is that systemic problems start with individual choices. After all, lest we forget: for anything that requires a choice, therein lies power.
So, what if we broadened our own individual definitions of civic engagement so that it doesn't start and stop with voting and activism, as it so often narrowly scoped? What if we zoom out and expand that framing to let so much more into view. For example, so that it includes how we talk to our children, how we engage at the ground level of our institutions (schools, church, non-profits), and even how we show up in everyday life. Micro-engagements, if you will.
Of course, that's easier said than done. Since the small things are frequently the first things we lose sight of. A truism that brings this whole discourse back to THE theme of 2025: intentionality. Knowing things need to change isn't enough. You have to be serious - and get serious - about how you want to shape the world.
As a human woman in my 40's, I am no stranger to flashes of existential dread. I am regularly overrun by overwhelm and am tempted by the lure of helplessness. I often look around at the world and tell myself - "Shit, I can't fix any of this. It's just too broken. Nothing I do will really make a difference." And sadly - the cynic in me wins that fight a lot. Because she's partially right. In trying to single handedly affect climate change or put a resounding stop to systemic racial inequalities or undo decades of pay discrimination for women in the workplace - no, I most likely won't ever be in a position to take action so profound that I make a meaningful difference. I'm a realist.
But there is one dimension in which every action I choose to take will have giant, lasting, unknown impact. And that's - my role as a parent. I mean, think about it - are there any higher stakes than creating a better future for our children? (The answer is no).
And that is where the work Patti's organization does comes into play. I won't do it justice, so please go visit parentswholead.org or https://wp.cga.ct.gov/cwcseo/sub_commissions/parent-leadership-training-institute/ to learn more about NPLI and how to get involved.
“Parenting is the first form of leadership.” - Patti Keckeisan, Jedi Master Parent Leadership Facilitator and overall Queen.
Patti reminds us that parents are under recognized civic leaders. And I am just becoming self-aware as to the potential that brings for myself. We know meaningful change - the type of change that sticks and transforms realities - starts as close to the problem as possible. As close to center as you can go. Problems solved by strangers in ivory towers are not problems solved at all, most times. It takes inside knowledge and lived experience to identify when and where problems even exist, let alone dream up potential solutions to address them That's why the common expression: Change starts in the home carries such wisdom. It really does.
I may be terrified of my kids growing up in a world where they won't be able to easily discern from the real-world and what is AI-generated. I may be sick to my stomach at the thought of the cyber bullying and peer pressures that will only mount with age. I may be distraught over worrying they're getting too much screen time or not enough unstructured play. I may have crippling anxiety thinking about how my daughter will emerge in tact from a social media maelstrom I can't reasonable protect her from. I may not have any idea how to stop those trains as they barrel down the tracks, not entirely. But I do have a choice with how I engage; in how I shape their lived experiences. I do have agency.
I am committing to reframing my parental anxieties into something far more productive. Because what gives me cause for concern with my children also gives me direction. Those things point me towards where I should consider taking action.
So, no - I may not be able to change the world. My opinions may never move markets. My words may never reach beyond my own friends and family. My big ideas may never outgrow my own communities. But, what I'm trying to say is - civic participation isn’t about perfection or volume, but rather intention and presence. This isn’t about quantity. It’s about quality. It’s about care.
In the gentle and powerful words of Arthur Ashe: “Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.” A mini Civics lesson in a nutshell if I ever saw one.